Category Archives: Chihuaterrischund

Recap: My Totally Irregular Regular Recap

Posted on by
1

You *may* have noticed that I haven’t posted a whole lot lately.  You are astute.  I haven’t.  We are really close to completing the remodel on the Yakima house.  Know of anyone looking for a rental?  2 bedrooms, 1 fancy new bath, 1 acre.

Here’s my recap of the last however-many-days since I did a recap.

  1. Random packages started showing up at my house.  I believe this is a direct result of drinking and surfing.  I will say, I’m a very practical shopper under the influence.
  2. Also, as a result of that drunken surfing thing, I started Weight Watchers.  No kidding!  This has actually worked out perfectly because now I’m not only overweight, but I’m acutely aware that I eat like a horse.  Nothing like a little shame to go with your embarrassment.  (Actually, it’s been a pretty good gig and I won’t bore you with the details of weight loss, since it’s not exactly a new story.)
  3. Jeff and I went to Fredstock — a party out in the vineyards.  It was a great time.  It was there I met the enigmatic “W.C.” (actual person, not water closet.) You think, when invited to a party in a vineyard, hosted by a world-renowned grower, you might need to behave, dress up, and stop swearing for the night.  I didn’t have to do any of the above and it was probably one of the best parties I’ve been to in a long time.
  4.  We quit trying to get rid of adopted the Chihuaterrischund and named her Izzy.
  5. I joined a Critique Group and submitted two chapters of my first ever “finished” book.  This resulted in many many nightmares.  Most of them reminded me of high school.
  6. I wrote a little confession over on www.ya-wa.com wherein I admitted that while I AM a member of the YA-WA team (a site dedicated to readers and writers of young adult literature in Washington State), I am NOT well-versed in Young Adult Literature.  (And, by the way, that first completed book of mine I was talking about?  Yeah, Young Adult.)
  7. As a result of above confession, the readers of Ya-Wa recommended several authors to check out.
  8. So I read the Hunger Games trilogy in about 3 days.
  9. I made a note to myself to NOT EVER confess to something like that again.
  10. So you see, I really didn’t have much to talk about, yet have been very busy.  I think I need a clone.

Happy Monday!  What have you been up to?

I'm jealous.

I Married A Critter Whisperer

Posted on by
6

No, that's not Jeff, and that's not the dog, but it's funny, dangit.


I rarely write about my husband, mostly because he gets pissed if I do.  Last night, though… well, it needs to be written about…

Him:  So, we need to talk about… (jerking his head toward the Chihuaterrischund)

Me:  I know, we can’t keep her.

Him:  SHHHH!!!!!!!!  Not in front of (jerking his head toward the Chihuaterrischund)

Me:  Okay, we can talk about it inside.

Trust me, I know exactly where this is going and I knew before I even saw her the first time how this was going to play out.  We were going to keep her, we just needed to be able to blame someone else for making the decision.  Ideally, there would’ve been a fight.  In Jeff’s fantasy fight, the fight would’ve involved him putting his hairy man-foot down and laying down the laws of the household.  I’d be reduced to tears, clinging to the little wriggling dog, looking up at Jeff with pleading, tear-filled eyes.  Jeff, in a RARE display of tenderness, would cave, but ONLY IF THAT DAMN DOG STAYS OUTSIDE, SO HELP HIM!  Because Jeff is a hard-ass, a HARD-ASS and at the first sign of trouble he will SHOOT that dog and we will eat her for dinner.  Jeff is THAT HARD-ASS!  In fact, sometimes I worry that if I take a wrong step, he’ll kick my sorry butt to the curb.  I may’ve wasted his annual quota of tenderness on a stray dog, when I needed it for myself in the likely event I burnt his dinner.

Of course, my fantasy argument over the dog was similar, but roles were reversed.  I was the bad-ass foot-putter-downer, and Jeff was the puppy-clinger.  In my fantasy, I was just being practical though, not hard-ass.  Also, Jeff didn’t cry in my fantasy, because, seriously, who fantasizes about their husband crying?

We went inside, and left the dog outside.

Me: We’ll need to get her spayed, that’s expensive.  (read: surely we can’t afford to keep her, can we?)

Jeff: Lacey can do it! (Lacey, his daughter, is a vet student and would gladly spay a dog with a paring knife just for the opportunity to look at dog guts.)

Me: She is a good little dog, she’s very smart.

Jeff:  She IS a good little dog, it looks like you’ve been working with her.

Cunning move, Mr. Owen, appealing to my desire to be trainer-of-all-critters.  In fact, I have NOT been working with her.  The only trick she has is to bark and pant.  So far, so good.

Me: I’ll have to get her a collar so she’ll fit in with the others.

Jeff then went outside and announced: Okay, dogs, you have a new sister!

Cricket yawned.

And that is how we ended up with the Chihuahua.  We need to name her.  Suggestions?

Hazel, the Chihuaterrischund (geshundeit!)

Posted on by
5

Earlier this week I wrote about asshats who drop off dogs.  I’m pretty convinced that Hazel was dropped.  Indulge me a little, here.  I try not to bitch and whine in my blog, but every once in awhile something happens and I gotta vent about the ass-ish ways of people.  Hazel is a victim of the asshole apocalypse.

If you’re in a position to take her, please drop me a line.

Also, I ~think~ I have comments fixed on this, so let me hear your stories of critter rescue!  PLEASE!  Brag yourself up about the animals you’ve rescued and restored.  ‘Cause looking at this dejected little girl’s face has me seriously wondering what kind of monsters are out there?

The Chihuaterrischund of the Apocalypse

Posted on by
3

I really don’t want to be the kind of blogger who says negative things, but I’m pissed. There are just too many members of the Asshole Apocalypse that I mentioned before.
Someone dumped a little dog and she found her way to our place in Yakima while Jeff was there. I can only assume the dumper knew what they were doing, because Jeff practically named her immediately. Unfortunately, he did so without verifying her gender.
We’ve since run through the gamut of names including:

  • Cocoa puff
  • Chocolate dog
  • DamnYouLittleSOB
  • Gordita
  • Frito
  • Pancho
  • Pancha
  • Burrito
  • Bullet
  • Bonita
  • And some names I can’t print here.

She’s some sort of Chihuahua/terrier/dachschund. There are parts of her that are very cute, like her face from certain angles. Especially the angle where you can’t see the one droopy ear. Her feet are tolerable. You know how you buy those stuffed toy dogs with the legs that are sort of bolted on to the body, almost as an afterthought? She has those kind of legs. Put her in some heels and a dress and she’d look exactly like Witch Hazel from Bugs Bunny cartoons. Smaller nose, however.

And she shall be called "Hazel"

She has a few things going for her, though.

  1. Exemplary bladder control when she’s excited
  2. Likes to ride in cars
  3. She can back down our dogs (weighing from 65 to 85 lbs)
  4. Pretty chill for a little dog, likes to just hang out on your lap
  5. Doesn’t eat much
  6. Seems to be house-trained
  7. Cute from certain angles
  8. Very sweet temperament
  9. She’s chocolate colored, with a little white chest – adorable!
  10. She’s probably a year old.

She’s a really sweet little thing, and would be a very sweet companion for anyone looking. She’s good with other dogs and humans, doesn’t show any signs of weirdness (other than the aforementioned legs. I mean, what is going ON with that?). We haven’t introduced her to small children or the cats yet, so I can’t comment on that. Jeff took her to the dog pound to have her scanned for a chip. He got there at 9 am. At that time there was a box of kittens at the front door, another batch of puppies that had been dumped, and three other dogs being left there. We really don’t want to shuffle her around like that.

I hope you or someone you know is looking for a sweet companion dog. The good news is, there seems to be no shortage of asshats dumping pets.  If you don’t want to wait for a run-in with a soul-less puppy-hater to get your next pet, please drop me a line.

Maybe a Cat of the Asshole Apocalypse did this?

Also, if you’re the Knight-in-Shining Armor who’s saved an abandoned animal (dog, cat, horse, Richard Gere’s hamsters), comment or drop me a line and send a picture!  I’ll post it!  I need something to offset the negativity the Asshole Apocalypse is spreading.