Monthly Archives: February 2012

It’s a Book Giveaway!

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Did you know that if you put your right hand in the wrong place on your keyboard, the title of this post is, “Ot’s a Bppl goveawau!”  I have nothing against bppl goveawaus, but that is not at all what this is and I don’t want you to be disappointed.  No bppls are goveawaus in this post.  Now, back to the story… 

There are times in our lives when it has to be done.  There are days that demand it.  Is the time right?  Is this the right venue?  Can I even do this?

These are the things that cross our minds when it’s time.  Time for what?  Time to bitch.

There.  I said it.

I’m not a total Pollyanna, but I try not to be a whiner.  But for crying out loud, if there weren’t so damn many rude people in this world, my non-whininess would be much more convincing.

Fortunately, there’s a book out there for people like me.  People who don’t want to necessarily blurt out the blue-streak of insults and profanities and accusations of illegitimacy to those who deserve it.  The book is called, “How To Get A Frontal Lobotomy For Cheap So You Can Deal With The Assholes Around You.”  No, wait, that’s not it.  Actually, the book I’m talking about is called, “Things to Bitch About.“  But wait!  I know, you’re like, “Oh yeah, like I need a list.”  No, in fact you DON’T need a list!  What you need is a place to vent all of your bitching, a place where you can say what you feel and hopefully keep your nose intact! And that place is “Things to Bitch About”!  For instance, there is a page dedicated to Bullies.  Everybody knows that you can’t bitch about bullies TO bullies.  Duh.  But you can sure as heck bitch about them in the book — and you get an entire page to do it!  (Actually, if I had a complaint, it’d be that the book needs more pages for “Bullies” and “Douchebags” but I guess I’ll just write really small.)

What?  What’s that?  You want that book?  I have some good news for you!  I’m giving one away!  (But not my copy, oh hellz no!)  Yup, leave a comment with your “Thing to Bitch About” topic (or your entire rant — you’re among friends).  On Friday I’ll draw names and announce the lucky winner of the book!

Can’t wait till Friday?  Must buy the book for your office mate, mother, sister, uncle, mailman, or bridezilla?  You can order it from Amazon!

So, that’s it: comment, wait until Friday, possibly win book.

Meanwhile, thanks to Allegra Newman for my own copy of Things to Bitch About.  Check out her blog here! 

Have a Blast, Be Successful, Get Stuff Done.

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I’ve been on a mission to do something daily that “makes my business a blast.”  It doesn’t mean I have to book exotic trips or anything fancy.  To me, having a blast with my business means really experiencing, even briefly, the life I envision having as a self-employed writer.  Thus, I’ve been drinking a lot and eating out of garbage cans.

Seriously, there are things I have put off, waiting until I’m living the life I envision living as a successful self-employed writer.  I’ve convinced myself that until I enjoy success, it’s a long, hard, bitter, cold, lonely slog.  But, I was inspired by this blog.  He is doing what he calls “365 days of commitment.”  In his case, he’s chosen to produce a piece of his “Biz-art” every.  Single.  Day.  Based on his idea, I came up with “365 Days of Having a Blast.”  (It really needs a better name.)  My goal is to pick one thing per day that would make my business a blast.  I choose one little fantasy about my business, and I make it happen.

Today:

I fantasize that when I’m super successful, I’ll be one of those writers who is very approachable, very willing to help other writers who have questions.  I do little things to help boost them — mention their blog in mine, do a little advertising for them, comment on their blog.  Basically, just promote others.  But, because right now I don’t have a following akin to “the Bloggess” or “Dooce”, I’ve convinced myself that my efforts would be fruitless and vain.

Screw it.  I’m here to have a blast.  It would be a blast to get out there and promote some folks who are doing great things.

  • The aforementioned “Fire Under Every Butt” blog: http://fireundereverybutt.com/  Productivity, creativity, and an irreverent tone of “Just Git ‘er Done!”  He also has a ton of cool little productivity widgets and whatnot that are fun to peruse.  Why he’s awesome?  Because he inspired me to make a 365-day commitment.  What about you?
  • This post, in fact, the whole Live Your Legend blog.  Key phrase in the blog post, “Huge goals have a lot less competition than you think.”  Do you have huge goals?  Maybe you can read the article and come up with one.  I’m still thinking of mine.
  • This author:  Diane Capri.  She flat gets stuff DONE.  I took an online class with her and she seriously produces in every arena she ventures into.
  • This person: Kim Kircher.  I got to meet her last year at a writer’s conference.  We have some things in common — both skiers (she’s a pro-patroller, my husband’s a pro-patroller), writers, bloggers.  I’ve been reading her blog now for some time and I’m just blown away by her dedication and consistency.  Also, I bought her book last year and made the mistake of letting my husband read it first.  Pffffft.  That book has seen more travel in a few months than I have in my whole life.  I only got to start it last night.  Finally!
  • I also met Jon Land last year at the writer’s conference.  First, the man is a pro-friggin’-lific writer.  Holy crap-sticks.  Second, he’s the embodiment of how I want to be when I’m super-duper successful.  He’s approachable, forthcoming with assistance, warm, and helpful.  He honestly loves to help aspiring writers and is the motivation behind what I wanted to do today, which is to promote others.

Who is out there doing cool stuff that you like?  Leave a link in the comments, share the awesome!  Let’s just make this a big ol’ Cumbaya day on the blog!  As for me, I have some dumpsters to peruse.  ;)

 

 

 

Making My Business a Blast – Day 2!

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yahoo!

So, today I’m going to take a little notepad with me everywhere and write down quotes people say or funny things I see.  That sounds like a blast.  Why?  Because when I envision myself living my dream life as a writer, I’m one of those people with a notepad, constantly writing stuff down.  For crying out loud, DAVID SEDARIS (moment of awe-induced silence) does it!  I just have to make sure I’m not one of those people who sticks the tip of the pen in my mouth before writing.  Can’t you die from that or something?

You also aren’t going to believe this but yesterday’s disco-fest (thank you, Pandora, for the disco station!) left me with a very, very sore back.  We’re talking spasms and twinges.  I think it means I need to do it more often.

Incidentally, my dream-life has me working for myself exclusively and not going to another job.  However, my dream-life also affords us things like gas for the car and beer.  Thus, I will continue to go to my job until my dream-life income exceeds my real-life one.  How’s that for a life-plan?

In other news, I still haven’t figured out how to send Daniel von Bargen some flowers.  But, I did find the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention on Charity Navigator, and am sending them a donation.

 

Daniel Von Bargen, Disco, and Double-Posting.

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I was talking to my friend “The Coach” last night about my writing business.  She was explaining the many virtues of having a personal dashboard for tracking your business’s health.  And then, she said, “make it fun.”  My brain latched onto that.  Fun.  What would make it fun?  I woke up with the answer for today.  DISCO! Problem, I was just an ankle-biter during the disco heyday, so I need to learn HOW to disco.  Thank god for the interwebz!  (As a non-professional dancer, though, I have to ask — aren’t they doing some sort of funky techno moves or something?)

Join me?

 Daniel Von Bargen

So, there I sat at my desk, practicing my office-chair-disco moves and speaking in Finnish, when I read this report about Daniel Von Bargen’s attempted suicide.  He was in Seinfeld (I think he played one of George’s bosses, the one he takes to Festivus).  The 911 recording is heartbreaking as Mr. Von Bargen describes his amputations past and future.  Yes, amputations.

I thought of what it was like for him as an actor to be on Seinfeld.  How excited and hopeful he must have felt.  How he was like any of the rest of us with a dream, except that he achieved his, which makes him a rare person.  How he thought, “Damn, I love living my dreams!”  And then I thought of him lying in bed with a gunshot wound to his head, tired of having his body taken away piece-by-piece.  Believing his usefulness was exhausted.  And I want to buy him some flowers.

This guy ^ is great.

Why does his story speak to me so much?  I’ve never jonesed for the taste of gunmetal in my mouth, thankfully.  I don’t have a close connection with him and could never call myself a “fan”.  (Though, after figuring out who he was, I realized I loved him in everything he’s ever done including roles in Malcolm in the Middle, Seinfeld, O Brother Where Art Thou?,  and The Postman.)  I think what struck me was the 911 call.  He was so calm (okay, probably in shock), so logical, and so tired.  I get that.  I want to tell him that the work he did to achieve his dreams is recognized and appreciated, but hopefully not done.

So, today what makes my writing business a total blast is to celebrate whatever steps I take toward achieving my goals, and I’ll do that with a little disco.  The other thing that makes it a total blast is reaching out to a fellow dream-achiever.

Seriously, if any of you internet-sleuthy types can help me a) send Daniel Von Bargen some flowers and b) recommend a suicide prevention charity, I’d be most appreciative.

I also need help writing a card for him.  Thanks!

Blogging for Non-Bloggers

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Okay.  Uncle.  I give up!  No matter what I do, I always end up helping people with their blog and/or social media questions and needs.  It’s great.  Helping people is rewarding.  Getting them closer to their dreams is a great feeling.

So, how’d I ever get into blogging?  It was around 1996 and I wanted to create a website just for the experience of creating a website.  I decided that the content for my website would be this children’s story I wrote and illustrated in high school.  I bought a magazine, cracked open Notepad, and got to work.  It was pretty simple — I scanned the illustrations in, typed up the content, and added navigation links.  (I also hid a couple of easter-eggs in there.)

This is not germane to my story, but that was back when my smokin’ hot modem was a 14.4 and my CPU case was as big as my microwave.  By today’s standards, I was carving a website out on a stone tablet.

Then Yahoo came out with their super-slick free websites.  Around the same time, I started traveling a bit.  Internet cafes became common in hostels and bammo, I was travel-blogging!  My grandmother printed off every page of that website and put it in a binder for me, not trusting the permanence of things written on the internet.

Later, I found my way to Blogger, where I set up about a gazillion blogs about everything from backcountry ski trips I’d taken, to really, really, really bad blind dates.

Finally, a couple of years ago, I decided to buy my own domain name and get serious about blogging.  I chose WordPress for that.

So, what’s 15 years of blogging get you besides unbelievable wealth and fame?  Actually, it doesn’t even get you that. But, if you’re me, it gives you a darn good handle on setting up blogs, which I enjoy doing.

Stay tuned, I have a series about getting started blogging.  It is targeted specifically to beginners and those self-professed luddites who are tentatively sticking their big toe in the pond of blogging.

Be brave!

What I Did This Week

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It’s been a busy week.  However, not an interesting one.

Monday — Funeral.  This was an Italian funeral in a Catholic church.  OR, this was a scene from the Godfather.  Nah, seriously, it was a beautiful service for a wonderful family friend — one who’s been part of our family since my mother was a teenager.  They are NOT the gangster type of family. I also was uncharacteristically prepared for Valentine’s Day.  What is this, some whacked out parallel universe I’m living in? Continue reading →

Dream vs. Reality

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Dream Life as a Writer:

  • Wake up without an alarm.  Preferably before noon.  Except on Wednesdays, then I get up early.
  • Pour a big cup of coffee.  Note that the housekeeper (incidentally, a classically-trained French pastry chef who just happens to like the scent of Pledge) brought croissants the other day.  Breakfast is shared with the Hubs. Continue reading →

I’m Almost 41 and Finally Got it Right on Valentine’s Day

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My god.  Finally.  You have no idea how proud I am today. I’m lousy at gift-giving.  Once when I was a kid my mother gave me some money to buy my brother a birthday present.  I got myself a nice shirt.  It was red.  I think I had enough money left over for a card for him.

The times I do remember to buy a gift for someone besides myself, I usually hang onto it for 6 months before getting around to giving it.  At this very moment I have a Christmas present wrapped and in my buffet in the living room.  It’ll be an antique before Janet ever lays eyes on it. Continue reading →

Just Plain Classy!

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You know how you get to a blog, and you realize that the blogger hasn’t been ALL THAT religious about keeping it updated and you think, “oh here we go, another wanna-be blogger who had something to say for 15 minutes, and then they neglect their blog and I’m stuck here reading stale news from 6 months ago”?

I regret to say I’ve been a little bit of “that” kind of blogger lately.  But, I HAVE AN EXCUSE!

I’m super-duper excited about this project, and it’s LIVE NOW!!!  I’m writing a web-series of the dramedy flavor.  It’s called “Just Plain Classy” and it’s about 6 friends from a small town who are reunited after 20+ years apart.  Weekly episodes keep you updated on their whereabouts and shenanigans.  Three characters actually keep blogs, and all of them have a social profile akin to Facebook profiles.  Think of it as Friends, if Friends were beer-bellied, middle-aged rednecks who hang out in a seedy bar instead of a hipster coffee-shop, and instead of worrying about… whatever stuff they worried about (mostly getting laid, I think)… they go through mid-life crises together (and worry about getting laid).  And you get to watch (the worrying part, not the getting laid parts).  Actually, it’s not like Friends all that much.  Except that there are 6 of them.  Which I guess could mean it’s as similar to Friends as it is to two Three Amigos movies, or three Dumb and Dumber movies, or six Joe Dirt movies.  That, folks, is how we do math in my hometown.

Gosh, look at the time.

Anyway, the other cool part is that about half-way through the first episode I gave a shout-out to Ron Baumgartner, a GREAT comedy writer and I’m glad to say one of my good friends since 2nd grade.  He got on board with this project and has contributed a lot to it.

Check it out at www.justplainclassy.com and let us know what you think!