We got a new kitten. From Satan. Kitten is named Albert, after Albert Einstein. He (the kitten) is apparently smart. There is the type of smart that cures cancer. Then there is the type of smart that counts matches or wins at the track, but lives in a car. Albert would be the latter.
Evidence:
- He chases paper. No matter when, no matter where, if you wad up a piece of paper Albert drops whatever he’s doing (eating, sleeping, chasing a different wad of paper) and comes to chase that piece of paper. Nothing is as seductive to him as the sweet caress of dried tree pulp grinding against itself.
- He is a glue sniffer. I was working on a project that involved rubber cement. Albert tore himself away from one of 17 wads of paper on the living room floor and began to sniff. He sat up on his haunches like a little grey monkey. Then he started making wacky eyes at the ceiling fan and meowing really weird. That’s not normal. Unless you are some sort of card-counting savant.
- He has kitty beds, kitty blankets, a kitty tower, and of course various “forbidden” furniture. Where is he passed out right now? My inbox on my desk. Clearly a life of comfort is foreign to him. His glue-addled brain has him thinking that contorting himself on a stack of bills is as good as it gets. Go with God, little soldier… and be brave.
I can only surmise that Albert’s the kind of smart that’d win the Nobel prize and squander his winnings on hookers and blow. Just look at him! I’m afraid to leave him alone with the pepper and vinegar. What he can’t snort he’ll drink.
And that reminds me of the time my husband and I went to Kauai (how the hell do you spell that) and maxed out our Visa on liquor and Spam.
Cograts on your new fur baby! He’s so cute and I bet he’ll become your writing buddy (laying on your computer keys) in no time…lol.
ps. I think the Kauai story should be your next blog post!
Thanks! Yeah, I probably need to expand on the kauai trip! Also, I just pried Albert off the keyboard of my computer, hopefully before he sent any email! ARGH!
Ha! Way too cute. Good luck with Mr. Einstein… I imagine you’ll never be bored!
August McLaughlin recently posted..Writing Grandad
he needs a hobby. Something besides “meowing and scratching stuff and sniffing glue.”
I think cats are really geniuses in disguise. They pretend they’re insane, but really, they’re finding out our weaknesses and plotting to take over the world. I’ve caught my own cats eying me dangerously when they think I’m not looking, even as they curl up in the bathroom sink for a nap. Thank God for Bunny Boop. She keeps them in line.
Samantha Warren recently posted..Who Designed That Ship??
What is bunny boop and how do I get it? I need about three bunny boops on express order!
She’s an insane mini lionhead rabbit that I picked up for a steal off Craig’s List. I thought she’d be afraid of the cats, but it’s the other way around. If she doesn’t like what they’re doing, she chases them right out of the room. Funniest thing ever. Of course, they’ll happily stalk her, once she’s safe in her cage.
Samantha Warren recently posted..Who Designed That Ship??
Cutest. Cat. Ever. And I agree with Shannon — I want to hear that Kauai story!
I’ll get busy on that!
Love this. We once got a kitten, a Manx. It crawled under the bed, dug up into the box spring, and rooted around all night. She was named Merlin, but was so dang mean tempered we called her Merlin the Malignant.
Prudence MacLeod recently posted..Ten Random Things
I love the name Merlin the Malignant! LOL
Have you offered catnip yet?
He sounds like a lot of fun.
Our cats aren’t fun. One just meows for attention ALL The time. You can do anything to her and she enjoys it. We kind of taught our dog to chase her. (The cat is bigger than the dog though).
asraidevin recently posted..Are the rules of writing killing your creativity?
Albert is so cute. I love that he’s the type of cat who would “squander his money on hookers and blow.” Too funny!
Sheila Seabrook recently posted..Location Location Location …
Hey Teresa!
Cats can be so hilarious. Dogs can too, but cats-they just seem to always have a few screws loose.
My husband once had a cat named Sassy. His favorite place to curl up and lay was in the cast iron frying pan on the stove. lol Not kidding.
It’s like cats have their own planet and agenda…
Sorry, I got cut off somehow?
I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed your post Teresa!
Karen McFarland recently posted..Gorillas In The Midst
Thanks Karen!
Adorable! I want one. You are a lucky mommy.
Debra Kristi recently posted..Golden Sky Showers of a Sister Remembered
He has his moments of cuteness.
What a cute little guy of course this is coming from the lady with one crazy queen of the world cat, and one sneaky scaredy cat who for some reason will only poop right next to the litter box
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